Some people say that depression feels like a black curtain of despair coming down over their lives. Many believe that they are dull and does not deserve anything. Others feel irritable all the time for no apparent reason.
Well, I guess this is what I’m feeling right now. I don’t know why but something is lacking in my life. Something I can’t define and it makes me hollow and empty inside. The feeling that I think my life is so boring and somethings just off. Worst thing is, it sinks in at any given time of the day. Sure, I have really cool and good friends and I have a very loving boyfriend but i still feel incomplete somehow. It makes me want to breakdown but I just can’t. I’m so used to being the “comforter” instead of being the “comforted” that I forget how to act when I’m sad. Sometimes I just want to cry for no apparent reason. It confuses the hell out of me. I mean, people don’t cry for no reasons right? :(
My hearts too heavy right now and I don’t think anyone can understand what I’m currently feeling. I mean, I don’t even understand it to begin with so how can other people do? It’s like finding something but not knowing what it is. I just know that as of this moment, underneath my happy nature, i feel so sad inside. :(
Sorry for the drama but I guess I’m entitled to have one. *sighs*
“Do you want me to tell you something really subversive? Love is everything it’s cracked up to be. That’s why people are so cynical about it. It really is worth fighting for, being brave for, risking everything for. And the trouble is, if you don’t risk anything, you risk even more.”—Erica Jong (via myquotelibrary)
“I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where. I love you simply, without problems or pride: I love you in this way because I do not know any other way of loving but this, in which there is no I or you, so intimate that your hand upon my chest is my hand, so intimate that when I fall asleep your eyes close.”— Pablo Neruda (via quotewhore)
“Life isn’t happily ever after and golden sunsets and shit like that. It’s work. The person you love is rarely worthy of how big your love is. Because no one is worthy of that and maybe no one deserves the burden of it, either. You’ll be let down. You’ll be disappointed and have your trust broken and have a lot of real sucky days. You lose more than you win. You hate the person you love as much as you love him. But, shit, you roll up your sleeves and work - at everything -because that’s what growing older is.”—Dennis Lehane, Mystic River (via quotewhore)
“He wanted to ask her what sound a heart made when it broke from pleasure, when just the sight of someone filled you the way food, blood, and air never could, when you felt as if you’d been born for only one moment and this, for whatever reason, was it.”—Dennis Lehane, Shutter Island (via quotewhore)
“You don’t just love me on my good days. On my pretty days, when I have makeup on and my hair looks decent. When I’m cheerful and witty and affectionate and feeling well. You love me when no one else possibly could. You love me when I’m pale and hollow, when I haven’t laughed for days and I’ve worn the same pajamas for a week. When I curl up in my little corner of the bed and try not to think about life. When I’m irritable and ugly and bitchy and I yell at you for stupid things. When my hair is greasy and I have bags under my eyes. Those are the times when with great patience and care, you brush my hair behind my ear, kiss my forehead, and tell me,’You’re beautiful and I love you.’ That’s how I know … that’s love.”—Breanna (via lrck88)
It’s been so long since I’ve checked my tumblr account. I only came back because my office mates are beginning to use tumblr again. lol I had to retrieve my account coz i forgot my effing password already T_T
Here goes short update of whats going on with my life…
Anyway, I’m 23 now. I’m working in a call center here in Cebu. The pay is good and the people are fun. I never expected to work in a call center but hey the pay is great and the benefits are generous so.. why not right?
After I finished the board exam all of my perspectives in life changed. I have to find a living that could satisfy my whims and can help my family. Then I realized working in a hospital here in the Philippines won’t let me do that. You only get to be paid after your 1 year probation and you still need to start as a volunteer, but thats not the the bad thing, the bad thing is, you not only get to work overtime but you have to pay for the damn experience… pretty unfair huh?! Those damn hospitals should be sued.
So anyway, I landed working in a call center. I thank God coz he gave me the job the same day I arrived here in Cebu. Now I’m a regular employee and enjoying my team. They are the best, most craziest people I know on the floor. I wouldn’t have stayed long without them. We have musicians, models, clowns, geeky and nerdy people.. Well I really don’t know where I fall. haha And most of all, we have the BEST Team Leader on the floor. We name our Team - XOXO - we are the most huggable and kissable bears. HAHA
These are the team I work with:
The Solvents… I think their name now is Cosmic Chasers.
(From Left to Right: Mark, Chuck, John and PK)
So anyway, those are some of the pics of Team XOXO.
All in all, my life is going well. There are boring times but it will always pass. In the end you’ll work because you’re having fun. I guess thats what every working people should attain.
LOVE YOUR WORK. That’s the biggest realization I had as of today. Thats the reason why I could get up every morning and achieve higher stats. :)
I’ll leave this post as is. Will be coming back soon though. I think I’m gonna post random pics from our outings and such.
Malapit na dumating ang panahon na magreremove na ako ng OL na mga tao at yung ndi ko kilala na nasa friends list ko sa FB. Pasenxahan na. :) Add nyo lang ako kung sa tingin nyo friends naman tayo, baka nagkamali lang ako sa pagclick. ;]
Ang gago ng facebook! Blinock ako sa pagchange ng name eh di ko naman inaabuse! ampota! gusto ko lang maglagay ng middle name eh! Kung gusto nilang di paulit-ulit ang tao na iattempt ang pagchange ang pangalan nila, dapat mabilis sila sa pag-approve! ampota! 2 weeks!!!!! kainis!!! :|
Words cannot begin to describe how blessed I am to have my Caveman. I wus too lost and then he came. He fixed me. Have been very patient to my complicated mood swings. And i just can’t help not falling in love with him.
This was his gift to me on our 2nd Monthsary. I remember how pissed I was coz he forgot. I also can’t forget how happy I was when he gave this to me. I don’t know if he drew it on the spot or he already drew it before, but I am very impressed and I am very proud of him ♥